#notanurse_but a Dad

Posted on the 17th June 2016

“A man who does not plan long ahead will find trouble right at his door.” – Confused!!!

What are dad’s plans for Sophie when she leaves school?  – Errr, I don’t have any.”

What are dads plans for sophie 2 years from now?  – Errr, no, none there either.”

You don’t make plans, why?

I have learned not to plan to far ahead. This is not a bad thing, this does not bother me at all. It bothers other people a lot more than it bothers me. Many of my important plans have gone, just gone, and not due to any of my bad planning.

Sophie’s life expectancy is unknown; as is Leanne’s, and mine. I wake up every day wondering what the day will bring. Will Leanne strangle me to death for not putting my washing away again today?! Will I wake up to my daughter passing away in her sleep? Better to have loved and lost than to live with the fear, because it’s the fear that can ruin the now.

Things change, for good and bad. Plans get ruined for many reasons, many not under my control, (well they generally never are!).

The fact is that the best laid plans never survive; there are known knowns, known unknowns, and unfortunately unknown unknowns.

Sophie has shown me a change in plan is not a bad thing. It may disappoint, it may frustrate, it may hurt … or it may open up new opportunities, challenge you, and make you grow as a dad.

Morbidly, you know as well as me that we all will die. I am assuming that Sophie will outlive me, and for that I am planning. But even that may get screwed up. If we die at the same time, so that plan fails pretty easily.

Wishes, I’ve got loads of them, but I have very little faith in them. I have short term plans for reaching most of my wishes! I have business plans and they usually work. I have plans to see my Mum soon, probably this or next weekend…..

I have plans to make the kids breakfast tomorrow before school, just before I get Sophie dressed, into her wheelchair and into the bathroom before brushing her teeth.

Eventually she will lose another baby tooth and I will get to put it under the pillow for the tooth fairy to come. So that I get to see that HUGE smile on her face when I walk into her room and produce the £2 coin I’ve just found

I bet your plans get a bit screwed up at times as well?

But now it’s time for us all to join voices and to shout out about our lives behind closed doors, caring for our children and their daily complex health needs. Get involved with our campaign here.


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